The Year That Was...........(i m short of words now)!!!!

Hey friends (I have lost the privilege of calling out ‘readers’ by the virtue of being highly irregular in updating my blog) I am back from my hibernating mode. I owe everyone an apology but since it is my rearmost entry for the year 2009, I am in no mood to start it on an apologetic note.

Last night I was busy briefing my diary with the anecdotes of the passing by year. Here are some excerpts…..

1. Big Blow Tagged RESPONSIBILITY

I encountered responsibility, fought with it and finally defeated it. It was as easy as selling ice cubes in Antarctica to set up a new world minus the comforts of dad’s arms and mom’s lap in place of hard core bureaucrats not because doing so involved some rocket science but my résistance towards change. At the end of the day I am all content and happy with my new found companion tagged responsibility.

2. Anything But Lonely

A hardcore extrovert is not expected to take time in befriending people, so was I. It was never a task to make friends for a chatter box like me but 2009 changed it all. Although I can still define myself in terms of a self confessed chatter box but I will surely have to give in to the skeptics of a loner too. Before being in hostel I could never make clear cut distinctions between ‘lonely’ and ‘alone’ let alone experience the difference.

But now I know it all, tried it all and of course love it all.

3. On a Losing Spree

If u boast of your success than be proud of your failures too, because if there is no failure one can never find success. As stated above, it won’t be can exaggeration if I say I was on a losing spree. From anything to everything I didn’t won a single competition. But at the end of the day I have no qualms. Not because I didn’t deserve wining (I always do) but it taught lessons which I could have never gained otherwise.( sometimes u do need such over the top quotes to sympathize with oneself)

So guys within few hours we all will step into 2010 and it is always baffling to see people turning into party animals, getting all drenched in alcohol and thundering their footsteps for no reasons. I know its good to celebrate the homecoming of a new year but better ways of doing so also exist.

P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR

Its a new life....

My apologies to all (actually few) readers who follow my blog and to all those whom I force to follow!

I year back, not even in my wildest dreams I would have imagined that one day I’ll land up in a hostel in a small city like bathinda…miles away from my comfort zone which had had been my perpetual state for last 18 years.

Long back ago it was just a hypothesis that hostel is not a place for a person like me whom I consider to be noisy shy. It’s actually the worst kind because nor does anybody know neither believes that noisy could be shy, but I am…end of all discussions! But after spending about one and a half month in the hostel my conviction is growing stronger and stronger that hostel is not a place where I'll ever want to be. Hostel is meant for hard core diplomats who are only good at one thing…manipulating stuff, not for an empty nutshell like me (I am just exaggerating things)

My life has changed drastically, from being a blunt spoilt and a brat I m trying to mould myself into a responsible person (hey I m actually...Didnt I show you my head girl batch) passing out fake smiles and giving out an illusion of a sycophants. Adjustments, compromise, sharing, are just some of the dreadful words that have become an indispensable part of my daily dictionary.

But somewhere I feel this is exactly the beauty of life

Trying to adjust in a place that’s never meant for me…..

Attempting to build I shell around me that’s as fragile as a crystal dome….

Forcing my heart to fill the voids that I suppose will never get filled…

Endeavoring to pacify the rage that’s untamable now…

Finding ways to suppress the pain that will linger on and on and on…

BlogolutionS......

Hiiiiiii.......i have to make some resolutions today regarding my blog. With the resolution thing i must share my 2009 new year resolution, i will not make any more resolutions! its not that funny as i was sick of myself trying out quirky resolutions( u know i have that i kind of habit to stand apart from the rest of the crowd) and then not living upto them. Come on hell did not break loose when i failed to keep up to them

Anyways i am very particular about my blog. So here take my blogolution! I knw its quite funny and my English teachers can kill me for creating that word.

1. I will put up a new post every sunday as i am going to live in a hostel now and i will find time only on weekends

2. From now onwards i will review a book. it can b anybook, fiction or non fiction, biographies or any other like my latest crush- a collection of famous T.S Eliot poems or the interviews by oprah winfrey. But please i am really against those self help books.

P.S. watch out for my next post especially dedicated to all those tech savvy people!!

its really scary!

I finally took my first step towards that 14 letter ferocious word called RESPONSIBILITY! It has found me after playing a prolonged game of hide n seeks for last seventeen years. I was all by myself in packing my things up this time (u know m going to live in a hostel now). Packing for me is the most cumbersome task, the last thing I can imagine to gain perfection over. My whole family was actually rolling with laughter when I harangued them at the dinner table ( I m actually fed up with the irresponsible tag).
Among all the things that I was to pack, deciding which books to take was tangible decision. I remember I was once asked that if I were to choose only five books to take with me, which books I will take? I never imagined that I would ever be doing that. But after thinking n thinking for about two hours (I m a thinker u see) I finally decided.
1. Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen
2. Superstar India by Shobha de
3. Chicken soup
4. Collected poems by Dom Moraes
5. A Thousand Splendid Suns
I have successfully done my packing n I am gaining a sense of certitude that RESPONSIBILITY will not torment me….it can actually crumple my spirits! hehehehehehehehehe

My Childhood Went Away

Last night my phone was befuddling me about what music to listen and couldn’t decide what to read, I decided to do some sort of cleaning. I started to go through my book rack first as I was peeved with my mom asking me to do it for about a fortnight now. I seldom do it and kind of even detest it.

As I started shuffling the books, in a corner I found my eleventh grade English textbook. Before I decided to open it, the hazy memories of it ran through my mind as if someone was showing me a Spielberg movie trailer (believe me I studied them so passionately) I took a long journey into my mind before I stopped at the image of a small boy turning into an adult. I quickly flipped the pages and started reading a very beautiful poem “when did my childhood go”.

I was soon engrossed in the tangible memories of my own childhood, my childhood of Enid Blyton and R.L Stine, my childhood of train trips to my maternal grandparents in Calcutta (I hate calling it kolkatta), my childhood of morning walks to the dear park with my dad, my childhood of christmas presents………I discovered myself being engulfed by nostalgia as I asked myself “when did my childhood go?’

Was it the day when I stopped reading my books in an uncritical manner?
Was it the day when I realized that we all live in a cynical world?
Was it the day in the book shop my hands voluntarily went up to a mills and boons novel?
Was it the day when my heart yearned for my tom cruise to come and say “ baby you complete me”?
Was it the day when I knew that I should not leave my home without applying a sunscreen?
Or else it was the day when I first uttered these words to myself , “ my childhood went away and it will never come back”.

After all winner is a winner!!!!!!!

Its 3’o clock in the morning while I m writing this. How you can expect someone to sleep who has witnessed that over the top final between Andy Roddick and Roger Federrer. 5^th July 2009 is not just any date, this will go down the history lane for a very very long time. After all fedexes are not created every day. Imagine how great it is to win 15 grand slam titles…….i just wish I was Federer!!!!!

Anyway back to reality. When the match started i really thought that Roddick had nothing to lose today but his impeccable efforts made me realse that it was rather opposite. If not on that day than may be in the us open, this was bound to happen. But I can feel the despair for the poor chap Roddick!. Tell me who would like to have his cup of history as loser? I didn’t want to use that word and I m sure Roddick fans would kil me for it but let me be frank or rather blunt as my blog says, no one remember the way of losing whether you lost by a margin of a mere point or in straight sets. The thing is that you lost!!!!!!! This is rather painful but come-on there’s no point in being sugarcoated bitter gourds.

I just want to apoogise to all roddick fans that i m not trying to goad although its not in demeanor to regret or even reconsider my actions but i sudenly remembered how one insane steffi graff fan stabbed monica seles..OMG!!!!!!!! so here take my apologies.

Happy Father's Day

Last few weeks had been the toughest days of my life till now. Amidst all the turbulence fathers’ day came as a big relief. It’s a great feeling to see the most beautiful smile coming naturally to you when seeing your dad in tears with that special father’s day card you select after going through a million!!!!!!! But for my dad father’s day was not just about receiving card because he is a son too but sadly he lost the privilege to give that million dollar smile 5 years ago when my grand father left us fighting with lung cancer.

Sometimes my feelings changes from simple grief to overwhelming anger when I see that my grand father is missing all the important events in me and my father’s life. I just want pay tribute to the most important man in my life whose whole life was a tribute, a tribute to courage!

My grand father R.K. Jaimini, the name doesn’t sound familiar after all he was not a yesteryear film star for whom rikshawwalas used to stop nor did he was a noble prize winner, he was just a good man with the charm of a film star and brains of a noble prizewinner. My most vivid memory of him is the day when he told me,” Small animals walk in herds tigers walk alone” and I took it on heart. I m not saying that my grandfather was perfect nobody is but he was someone I can always look up to find strength even in the most trying times. From sitting in the office of telephone exchange as an elite manager destiny took him to the footpaths selling candles. But none of the adversities could stop him to rise against all the odds. I don’t think an article would be enough to summarize the life of one the greatest men in my eyes.

So I love you grandpa, you were as beautiful in death as you were in life..........we all will love you but will never forget who you were and will tell our children and grandchildren about the man who although considered a minor cold a serious illness is one of the greatest men who ever lived

politically incorrect veiw

Polling for the 2009 general elections has finally ended but all the dust and drama is not over yet,i am sure there is more to come.I remember the 2004 general elections, i was 13 at that time and had made a secret prayer of making the 2009 general elections fall after september 2009 so that i may have got the chance to vote this time.But never mind! Although i didn't vote but did make a point to visit a polling booth.I accompanied my aunt to a polling both in my locality and to my amazement i found that there were 4 polling booths in a span of just 500mts from my home.No way people should have excused themselves from voting, even if they do then no blames on the government!

I thought of spending an hour or so at the polling station which made my aunt a bit crazy in head as it was a very hot afternoon and the sun was smilling at the top of our heads.But after few minutes i found myself getting engrossed in all the activities happening around the polling booth.As i watched more and more people coming to cast their vote,the participation of the rich educated class in my region was very low.I was thinking if this is the story of all the regions in india this time too? and the next day newspaper cleared all my residual doubts.

After 2004 general elections my conviction grew stronger and stronger that its the rural and uneducated india that make and break governments.I can even go on to the extent of saying that intelligensia has no say in the whole electing process.Few months back i met a medical student,a first time voter and asked her about her voting preferences and here comes the awnser " I will not vote! why should i vote? there was not a single political party that supported our no reservation campaign. Even if that wasnt the case,all the voters do is to choose the better of the two devils". Initially her apathetic and callous attitude did annoyed me but she is just returning the apathy back!