My apologies to all (actually few) readers who follow my blog and to all those whom I force to follow!
I year back, not even in my wildest dreams I would have imagined that one day I’ll land up in a hostel in a small city like bathinda…miles away from my comfort zone which had had been my perpetual state for last 18 years.
Long back ago it was just a hypothesis that hostel is not a place for a person like me whom I consider to be noisy shy. It’s actually the worst kind because nor does anybody know neither believes that noisy could be shy, but I am…end of all discussions! But after spending about one and a half month in the hostel my conviction is growing stronger and stronger that hostel is not a place where I'll ever want to be. Hostel is meant for hard core diplomats who are only good at one thing…manipulating stuff, not for an empty nutshell like me (I am just exaggerating things)
My life has changed drastically, from being a blunt spoilt and a brat I m trying to mould myself into a responsible person (hey I m actually...Didnt I show you my head girl batch) passing out fake smiles and giving out an illusion of a sycophants. Adjustments, compromise, sharing, are just some of the dreadful words that have become an indispensable part of my daily dictionary.
But somewhere I feel this is exactly the beauty of life
Trying to adjust in a place that’s never meant for me…..
Attempting to build I shell around me that’s as fragile as a crystal dome….
Forcing my heart to fill the voids that I suppose will never get filled…
Endeavoring to pacify the rage that’s untamable now…
Finding ways to suppress the pain that will linger on and on and on…