I thank myself for the time when I started keeping journals
or my spell in despair would have continued for many more days to come. It has been
months that I have been whining about my precarious state of life in every
possible way. Staying away from socialising, lashing out on siblings, trying to
run away from home, cursing my parents for mistakes they don’t even know about
and of course being unhappy to the core.
Nothing helps but aggravates it in very possible way. But just
when I decided to stop fighting it learn to live with it; a blessing clad in
the most stupid attire came my way. I was going through my old journals and an
entry dated 27th June 2003 caught my attention and gave me a sudden
laughter attack. It actually had lines of song from an old Hindi movie with a 2
page description of how elated and confident I felt those days after hearing
the song.
Just after I came to my senses and was about to shrug the
entry as a sign of mere childishness, a sense of guilt was all over me. Guilt of
letting my fears and doubts take over my free spirit and receptivity, guilt of
building a shell around me and guilt of getting into the cynical habit of
finding reasons.
This world is driven crazy by reasons where we don’t even
smile without one. We continue to put ifs and buts and whys to the end of every
sentence. So I guess it’s time to loosen up a bit, travel back to the times
where knew nothing but to stay happy and dream and let the child in us stay
alive forever. Whatever happens in the end, we will happy moments to cheer and
celebrate for.
Heres the lines from the ultra funny song
“ jo soche jo chahein woh karke dikhade
Hum woh hai jo do aur do paanch bana de”
J
4 comments:
nice bhawna..i have learnt a lesson or two through your blog.. :)
cheers..!!
haha!! so it seems you're getting old !! remembering the "humare zamaane mein" times :P
*Short but to the point!
ofcourse i am getting old....started counting greys too....:-P
Hey, those are very positive lyrics... :) loved it...
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