Terms of Losing....

It took me more than 4 months to get back to this space. This sabbatical was the difficult of all as it was meant to heal an irreplaceable loss, as they say...time and tears washes away everything...but some stains stay there forever!!!

I was skimming through the books for my exam scheduled in the afternoon on 1st march, 2011. Still in the hangover of getting into another year of my relationship and struggling through those illogical chapters, I tried settling myself in the hostel’s mess for the lunch and my phone rang flashing my mother’s number. I thought it odd of her to call at this time as I never pick up during my college hours. I picked up her call with a cheery “Hi!”

I heard my younger sister on the other line sobbing, as if our world was torn apart and she was gathering courage and composure to share those broken parts with me. A litany of thousands possibilities ran through my mind. But nothing could have prepared me for the words she finally spoke. My brother Monty was killed in a motorbike wreck the last night. I wanted to smash away the phone to wake up to a bad nightmare but certainly it was nothing but reality. The eldest of us in our maternal family, Monty got married a week earlier. Just two days back me and my cousin had wrapped up the wedding extravaganza and left for our colleges, wishing the newlyweds all the happiness. Who knew we would be called this sooner.
The days that followed were a haze of unreality. We all stayed together at that time and clung to each other for support. I remember watching my mother crying in a corner away from her sister’s eyes. She told us once that it’s hard to decide what hurt worse; the loss of Monty or watching her sister act bravely when we all knew that her world was shattered.

It’s been 4 months since Monty left us and changed our lives forever. We have all tried our parts coming to terms with the loss but are still trying to learn...how to live incomplete lives???