Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Helplessness


There are so many emotions that dwell in me, some come and go, some have a permanent base and some just like to amble around a bit. They make me feel complete and close to being a human being who is flowing and not monotonous. But I dread the coming of one, “Helplessness”. Though it doesn’t come often but when it does, it leaves so many unanswered questions, unfilled voids and a dreadful silence.

Last night I went to the living room to find some magazines needed for reference for an article. I was taken aback to find my family teary eyed in front of the television. The show “India’s got talent” was being aired. A girl of no more than 5 was balancing herself on the rope without giving much attention to the audience or the judges. She was determined and gritty, much oblivious to whatever was happening around her. After completing her act, she stood silently without any change of expression. Her face was cold and devoid of the child like free spirit. The whole audience burst into applaud but it did nothing to bring even a faint smile on her face. She was just there to do her work like she has been doing it since she began to crawl or speak in every nook and corner of the country.

My heart was silently weeping watching the little girl lose her childhood. If you ask any person that which period of their life is most memorable to them, a lot of people will definitely point out childhood. The time when we are carefree and have the liberty to believe and dream anything without planning about the money that would go into it. We can live without worry yesterday and tomorrow and just be in present.

Every day we see thousands of children on the streets living a life which even animals don’t deserve. We ignore it and become naive about the reality until one day when it comes face to face, leaving behind nothing but Helplessness. 

Friday, July 31, 2009

My Childhood Went Away




Last night my phone was befuddling me about what music to listen and couldn’t decide what to read, I decided to do some sort of cleaning. I started to go through my book rack first as I was peeved with my mom asking me to do it for about a fortnight now. I seldom do it and kind of even detest it.

As I started shuffling the books, in a corner I found my eleventh grade English textbook. Before I decided to open it, the hazy memories of it ran through my mind as if someone was showing me a Spielberg movie trailer (believe me I studied them so passionately) I took a long journey into my mind before I stopped at the image of a small boy turning into an adult. I quickly flipped the pages and started reading a very beautiful poem “when did my childhood go”.

I was soon engrossed in the tangible memories of my own childhood, my childhood of Enid Blyton and R.L Stine, my childhood of train trips to my maternal grandparents in Calcutta (I hate calling it kolkatta), my childhood of morning walks to the dear park with my dad, my childhood of christmas presents………I discovered myself being engulfed by nostalgia as I asked myself “when did my childhood go?’

Was it the day when I stopped reading my books in an uncritical manner?
Was it the day when I realized that we all live in a cynical world?
Was it the day in the book shop my hands voluntarily went up to a mills and boons novel?
Was it the day when my heart yearned for my tom cruise to come and say “ baby you complete me”?
Was it the day when I knew that I should not leave my home without applying a sunscreen?
Or else it was the day when I first uttered these words to myself , “ my childhood went away and it will never come back”.