Do we live?

We breathe, we eat, we walk, we laugh, we cry, we feel euphoric, we go through despair, we want people, we want to be alone, we win, we lose, we love, we hate and yes sometimes choose be in between. And thus we survive. But do we live?

This question has been hovering around with me for so many years. At the age of 6 I asked my mother, “Why was I born”?

“To be my daughter and give me company” was my mother’s reply. I was in total disagreement with her as I thought I was born to become Miss Universe. (You can read about it here). I was living to become Miss Universe.

Few years later I again asked myself the same question and left it unanswered. The woes of having an inquisitive mind is that once it goes on seeking an answer, it will rest only after finding. You can try to subjugate it, try to ignore it, try to crumple it but it will not stop bothering without meeting its goal. And when it does find its goal, life becomes more blissful and beautiful.

Few days back while coming back from office, I was feeling unusually intrigued about my future prospects. So much that I began talking to myself, going to and forth on every nuances and facets. I was completely unaware of the world around me. Two children walked past me. One was around 3 and the other 6. The younger one was in a bad mood with tears welled up in his eyes, face turned red and steps refusing to go ahead. I took few steps back and turned to them. The elder one kept his gaze fixed on the ground and whispering to the little one to move quickly. The younger one looked straight into my eyes and suddenly my whole being smiled.

The eyes gave u tears and acquired a tinkle, face left the redness and lit up while the kid gave away the smile I had not seen and felt earlier. I kissed the kids and went away. The kids unknowingly taught me something which my books could not. I truly lived in that moment, the moment of pure happiness, happiness that is not conditional and dependent. It stems out from your own being, your being which is devoid of any kind of materialistic values. It gives away the notions of worldly love and tells us to not just survive but live.

And yes, we do live.  

Helplessness

There are so many emotions that dwell in me, some come and go, some have a permanent base and some just like to amble around a bit. They make me feel complete and close to being a human being who is flowing and not monotonous. But I dread the coming of one, “Helplessness”. Though it doesn’t come often but when it does, it leaves so many unanswered questions, unfilled voids and a dreadful silence.

Last night I went to the living room to find some magazines needed for reference for an article. I was taken aback to find my family teary eyed in front of the television. The show “India’s got talent” was being aired. A girl of no more than 5 was balancing herself on the rope without giving much attention to the audience or the judges. She was determined and gritty, much oblivious to whatever was happening around her. After completing her act, she stood silently without any change of expression. Her face was cold and devoid of the child like free spirit. The whole audience burst into applaud but it did nothing to bring even a faint smile on her face. She was just there to do her work like she has been doing it since she began to crawl or speak in every nook and corner of the country.

My heart was silently weeping watching the little girl lose her childhood. If you ask any person that which period of their life is most memorable to them, a lot of people will definitely point out childhood. The time when we are carefree and have the liberty to believe and dream anything without planning about the money that would go into it. We can live without worry yesterday and tomorrow and just be in present.

Every day we see thousands of children on the streets living a life which even animals don’t deserve. We ignore it and become naive about the reality until one day when it comes face to face, leaving behind nothing but Helplessness.